John Whaite on Bake Off regrets, his chip shop childhood – and what he ate on his wedding day

The big question: why write a memoir at 34?
Obviously, there was interest in my story after Strictly Come Dancing. But also, I’d been part of Steph’s Packed Lunch on Channel 4 and got to talk about things I’d experienced, like bulimia and alcohol problems. It felt like the right time to write about it and say, ‘this is what I’ve learned so far’.

How do you feel about it a year on?
I’ve since been diagnosed with ADHD and, following treatment, I don’t want to be in the limelight as much. I’m glad I wrote honestly about these things, but I was a different version of myself then. I was tired of the perceived perfection in the media. We’re all flawed. My honesty is a rebellion against polished perfectionism. It’s also part of having ADHD – I’m unfiltered and that can be a bad thing. But honesty is key.

You’ve been a performer all your life – what does it mean to you?
I loved the stage long before I loved food. I still do – I did pantomime in Bradford last winter. My dream role? I’d love to play Orpheus in Hadestown, but I’m a bit baritone for that role! It’s the best musical in the world. My husband Paul and I saw it in New York when we were there in February to get married, and it’s now in London. I was obsessed as a child with Greek mythology.

Congratulations on your marriage! Important question: did you bake the wedding cake?
We didn’t have a wedding cake, but we had the signature pie from Milk Bar bakery in New York. It’s so sweet it hurts your teeth, but it really gives you a boost after an early morning getting married in the park.

What’s your fondest food memory?
One of my fondest is from when Paul and I first started dating. We used to stay in cheap hotels at the weekend and get pork pies and prosecco and have carpet picnics – there’s a chapter on them in my book. I could never have married someone who doesn’t like food!

What was the young John Whaite interested in eating?
I had such a sweet tooth when I was a little boy. Bags of sweeties, chewy taffy, Refresher bars… I used to get in trouble all the time at the family chip shop for stealing cans of fizzy drinks.

What’s your current food obsession?
I went through a kombucha phase last year. But our scoby got so huge, we couldn’t get a jar big enough and ended up with this great life force in the kitchen that we had to bury in the garden. Now my food obsession is our new business, Ruff Puff Brownies: we put homemade inclusions like pâte de fruits and ganache into rustic brownies and blondies. My favourite is the Total Eclipse – it tastes just like a Jaffa Cake.

Looking back on your Bake Off experience, would you do anything differently today?
I’m now nearly 500 days sober. One of the best decisions I ever made was to not touch alcohol. Drink less, sleep more and take things less personally is the advice that I’d give my 23-year-old self on Bake Off. Food is so inexplicably linked to who we are, and when we create a recipe or bake a cake, we put part of ourselves into it; any criticism can easily be perceived as criticism against the self, when it’s just about how soggy your biscuit bottom is – it isn’t personal.

You write about the difficulty of finding your place in the food world afterwards; what was your experience?
After Bake Off, when I started writing about food, I felt imposter syndrome. I felt like I had to speak in perfect tongue about elevated dishes. The snobbery around food, which was prevalent in the eighties, nineties and early noughties, I think has dissipated. The food I’ve loved, like fish and chips, you can still write about entertainingly, with vigour and passion.

Do you have any dreams or ambitions you’re still yet to fulfil?
I’m enjoying seeing where life takes me now. I know that’s a privileged thing to say, but I’m just going to see what opportunities arise. That’s been the story of my life. I’ve tried to make things happen, but a lot of what has brought me success or joy or peace was serendipitous. Mother Nature can hold me by the hand, and I’ll go wherever she wants to go.

Quick-fire Q&A

What’s your usual breakfast?
Every day for five years I’ve had a smoothie with avocado, spinach, chia and flax seeds, protein powder, peanut butter, olive oil and berries. It tastes like swamp water but makes me glow from the inside out!

What’s in your freezer?
Brownie offcuts – and Ajinomoto gyozas from Costco. They’re a good high-protein snack and easy to throw into a steamer.

What’s your ice cream van order?
It would’ve been a screwball back in the day, but now a cider lolly – crisp apple joy on a hot summer’s day.

John’s memoir, Dancing On Eggshells, is out in paperback now (Kyle Books £10.99); follow him on Instagram. You’ll find recipes from Bake Off stars including John in our special baking collection.